Posted by - albisasky
Post date - 06-04-2005, 09:33 PM
:=) I have been building models since age ten. Over the past 47 years, I’ve heard my axioms, witticisms, old bromides, quotes and sage advice. Some actually have had their roots in other types of model building, so I have “converted” them to fit model shipbuilding. I thought that it might be helpful to pass along some of them to my fellow model shipwrights.
“Man does not plank by glue alone, he must have those teeny-tiny little brass nails.”
“Model shipbuilding is God’s revenge for cutting down His trees.”
“If you could eliminate all of the time spent looking for parts that you’ve dropped on the floor, finding tools that you’ve misplaced, redoing what you did wrong the first eighteen times and having to make umpteen trips to the hobby store for things that you forgot to get the last time you were there, you could probably knock out the HMS Victory in about a week of evenings.”
“The older I get, the better I used to be.”
“Never do by hand what you can get a machine to do for you. Now, where did I put that Dremel tool?”
“If God had intended man to build little wooden ships, He would have given us two or three pairs of hands.”
“The amount of glue used is inversely proportional to the square root of the time it will take for the parts to separate divided by Pi.”
“Every wood model ship kit directions should start with:
Step #1: IMPORTANT! This first step is ESSENTIAL for a successfully completed model. Pour ACC all over both hands, rub it in well, ensure even coverage and that the fingers are closed together tightly and let it set for 10 minutes. Now that you’ve done this, you are ready to proceed…”
FAQ’s:
What is the most important tool that you use for rigging a ship?
That bottle of Cutty Sark up on the shelf between the Elmer’s glue and the bees wax.
What is the best way to plank a model ship?
Buy a kit with a solid wood hull.
What do you do for relaxation?
“I sit down at my workbench and just stare at a half-finished wood model of the USS Constitution.”
Grading the level of a kit’s difficulty to build is usually given as Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced. This method is much too subjective. A more accurate rating system would be:
Level #1: buy two of the same kit and you will have about a 90% chance of actually completing one that’s passable if you work at it real hard for two or three years.
Level #2: Should only be attempted by those who are either retired or are serving long jail sentences.
Level# 3: unless your name is Ben Lankford or Frank Mastini, you’ll never finish the damned thing. :=)
Al Bisasky
Sykesville, Maryland
“Man does not plank by glue alone, he must have those teeny-tiny little brass nails.”
“Model shipbuilding is God’s revenge for cutting down His trees.”
“If you could eliminate all of the time spent looking for parts that you’ve dropped on the floor, finding tools that you’ve misplaced, redoing what you did wrong the first eighteen times and having to make umpteen trips to the hobby store for things that you forgot to get the last time you were there, you could probably knock out the HMS Victory in about a week of evenings.”
“The older I get, the better I used to be.”
“Never do by hand what you can get a machine to do for you. Now, where did I put that Dremel tool?”
“If God had intended man to build little wooden ships, He would have given us two or three pairs of hands.”
“The amount of glue used is inversely proportional to the square root of the time it will take for the parts to separate divided by Pi.”
“Every wood model ship kit directions should start with:
Step #1: IMPORTANT! This first step is ESSENTIAL for a successfully completed model. Pour ACC all over both hands, rub it in well, ensure even coverage and that the fingers are closed together tightly and let it set for 10 minutes. Now that you’ve done this, you are ready to proceed…”
FAQ’s:
What is the most important tool that you use for rigging a ship?
That bottle of Cutty Sark up on the shelf between the Elmer’s glue and the bees wax.
What is the best way to plank a model ship?
Buy a kit with a solid wood hull.
What do you do for relaxation?
“I sit down at my workbench and just stare at a half-finished wood model of the USS Constitution.”
Grading the level of a kit’s difficulty to build is usually given as Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced. This method is much too subjective. A more accurate rating system would be:
Level #1: buy two of the same kit and you will have about a 90% chance of actually completing one that’s passable if you work at it real hard for two or three years.
Level #2: Should only be attempted by those who are either retired or are serving long jail sentences.
Level# 3: unless your name is Ben Lankford or Frank Mastini, you’ll never finish the damned thing. :=)
Al Bisasky
Sykesville, Maryland